IMAGINE being told you are that one in three statistic who has cancer. Now imagine being told you are that one in three statistic who has cancer at the age of 21. I am Laura Jayne Brown, I live in Lichfield and in January 2010 I was told I had cancer.
Up until Christmas last year I was in my final year at Staffordshire University studying Broadcast Journalism. My goal and future ambition is to become a TV or Radio presenter and I have always wanted to achieve this dream ever since I was little.
I was your normal average girl working hard towards my degree and looking forward to my graduation in July, blissfully unaware what was happening inside my body. It wasn’t until December last year when I found a lump in my neck and knew there was something wrong, but like many other young people I really didn’t assume the worse. In my case I thought it was down to stress and too much hard work at university, how very wrong I was.
It was after a trip to the Doctor, who then referred me to a surgeon when my world came crashing down. Following an operation to remove the lump from my neck I was diagnosed with Hodgkin Lymphoma.
Almost three hundred thousand people are diagnosed with cancer each year with nearly two thousand being teenagers and young people. In other words out of every one hundred thousand people in the UK, slightly more than two people will get Hodgkin Lymphoma.
Hodgkin Lymphoma is cancer of the lymphatic system and affects your immune system. In simple terms, it stops your body from fighting infections properly. Cancer cells are made instead of normal cells, so instead of making normal cells to fight infections, the body makes cancerous ones. You cannot catch Hodgkin Lymphoma from someone and you cannot pass it so someone else. There is also nothing to say that anything you have done or not done has caused you to develop the illness. It is not your fault and of course this is the first thing that came into my head when I was told, what did I do wrong?
Over the next few months as I battle with cancer I will share with you all the new and different experiences that I have had to endure on my road to recovery.
Week 2:
I would like to start by thanking you all for reading my column last week and hope you enjoyed it and found it interesting.
This week I was going to tell you all about my needle phobia and all the tests I have gone through to get where I am today, but I had a bit of a drama last Friday that I thought I would share with you instead.
Nothing is ever simple when it comes to me, especially with my treatment. For those of you who don’t know me, I have the biggest phobia of needles ever and to overcome this fear I had a Hickman Line inserted into my chest so they wouldn’t need to keep using them. The line goes into my chest, along a vein and into my central vein above my heart. However this didn’t end up making things easier and as the weeks have gone on the line has been playing up, and stressing me out and making my treatment a nightmare and then on Friday I had the worse day so far.
I had just begun my chemotherapy when I was in that much pain I was crying and could have started to scream it was that bad, so to be on the safe side I was sent for a line-o-gram to check the line was working okay. I knew deep down something was wrong as it took ages for them to get the results back from X-Ray and I was right. My line had spilt inside my chest and so the toxic drugs had leaked out into my body tissue. Well you can imagine the picture on my face, I couldn’t stop crying, and then the news got worse. I was told I would need an emergency operation that night to have the old line removed, my body flushed and cleaned from all the toxic drugs and a new Hickman Line put into the other side of my chest.
This was the worse possible news I could hear, ever! I had gone through all the pain of the last operation and my body finally getting used to my line to have to have a new one put in. I now have five holes in total across my chest. The operation was successful and I have spent this week recovering and trying to get over the pain of the new line. Something I didn’t want to have to do all over again, it wasn’t meant to end up this way.
Week 3:
AS you will all remember from last week I had to have an emergency operation for a new Hickman Line. Well it was a success. The new line finally works and I was able to have my chemo. To be honest I was dreading going for my treatment because deep down I thought knowing my luck it wouldn’t work again and the operation would have been pointless.
The rest of my week has been hectic. On Saturday after my operation I went to my boyfriends 21st birthday party. I managed to get my best dress and dancing shoes on and have a good time despite being dosed up on the anaesthetic from the operation and painkillers to help my chest.
A few days after my chemo I fell ill. This hit me hard because I haven’t yet been ill from my treatment and suddenly I was. I had a mouth infection and had white blisters all over my tongue and mouth, so I was unable to talk, eat or drink without it been very painful. It was horrible. I was feeling rubbish from the infection and wasn’t eating or drinking and because of that I felt even worse and sick. It got that bad I almost passed out in Tesco when I was shopping with my Mum. I am a lot better now but not looking forward to my next treatment in case it happens again.
On Good Friday my dreams were made true when I met and had coffee with my idol Anna Richardson. I was originally interviewing her for my dissertation at University but when everything with the cancer happened that all changed, but she still wanted to meet up with me. I was on cloud nine for the rest of that day after having had the best time ever.
For Easter I went away for a few days with my family to the Peak District. It was a lovely break and a chance to not think about the cancer, and I had good time apart from all the rainy weather. I hope you all got some yummy Easter Eggs. I got a nice handbag and the new Twilight DVD. I am not a big fan of chocolate.
Week 4:
ON Thursday I went for my first PET Scan. This is to find out if the treatment is working. I went in the scanner for half an hour, with my head strapped into a cage so I wouldn’t move, it was very scary.
On Friday I was meant to have my chemotherapy. I had geared myself up to have it and in the end I couldn’t. My blood count was far too low for them to give it me. Fingers crossed it will be ok for this Friday. I shall let you know.
I thought I would take this time to say a huge thank you to my two oncology nurses at Little Aston Hospital. They have been amazing since I began my treatment back in February.
On the day of my emergency operation Diana had begun her shift early in the morning and did not leave until I went home at nearly midnight that evening. Her shift finished at four that day and came into my operation with me and was there when I woke up in recovery. That’s dedication for you.
Anita is my other nurse and she has spent hours and hours with me trying to get my old line to work. The patience she must have is untrue and I don’t know how she didn’t scream every time it didn’t work because I was ready to. I will never forget her face the first time she used my new line and actually got blood from it for my blood test. She couldn’t stop jumping up and down with excitement.
They are both lovely people and do not get enough credit for all the hard work they put in, so thank you for everything for that you do. You are both brilliant.
Week 5:
AS you will know from last week I wasn’t able to have my chemo because my blood count was too low. Well after it was delayed to this week I was very anxious about going because I kept thinking to myself it’s going to be low again and then I will be two weeks behind my schedule.
However my blood test came back fine. It wasn’t as high as they would have liked it to have being but it was at an acceptable point for me to have my treatment. It all went well, and having this new line has definitely made a huge difference and it a lot easier. The one thing I did not enjoy that day was having the last of my stitches out of my chest. Anita did so well to get them out, I don’t know how she managed it to be honest, they were tangled so much around my line. It didn’t half hurt though and I did cry and almost scream at one point.
This week has been my low week, where I am not really meant to go to crowded places like the cinema or the pub because my immune system gets low and I could catch things really easily so when the sun came out I made the most of it and went for walks round Lichfield and Tamworth. It was nice to get some fresh air and clear my head. Having cancer doesn’t half take over your life and mess with your mind.
On Thursday I took part in a fashion show in aid of The Teenage Cancer Trust. The evening was organised by the ladies from Pink, the hair specialist in Birmingham. It was to make people aware young people and teenagers with cancer, and also that you can still look good even if you are ill. The night was held at Pier 39 in Mere Green with a lovely three-course meal. When it came to the fashion show part I was so nervous. I had to walk down the stairs in front of over a hundred people, stop for them to have a look and then walk in between the tables. If it wasn’t for the people chapping and cheering me on I would have panicked and chickened out. The night went so well and I had a great time. To top it all off was all the different people I didn’t know coming up and telling me how brave and inspirational I was.
Week 6:
THIS week I am writing this from my bed while watching The Bill. Yes I watch The Bill. I have watched it for years and I used to make everyone at University sit and watch it each week so I wouldn’t miss it. Very sad I know but quite funny at the same time.
I got a bit annoyed and upset last week because I was ill. I had had my chemo on the Friday so it made it my good week where I am able to go out, but for the last few treatments I have had bad side effects which means I am ill on my good week and by the time I am better it is my low week where I cant really go out, so this got me a bit stressed and down with myself.
Every Sunday after my chemo I wake up with a bad mouth and then for the next three or four days I am not able to eat, drink or talk properly because of the pain. I then have pains in my chest where my line is, so I am not sleeping very well at night because whatever way I lay it hurts. It got that bad I ended up going to Little Aston to have a blood test to make sure my blood count was okay and nothing else was wrong. My blood count came back and it was the highest it has been which surprised me a lot. I felt like rubbish yet my blood count was fine, very strange. I know being ill isn’t my fault but I hate knowing it is going to happen every time I have my chemo. I don’t think I can put up with going through that pain until the end of my treatment.
My sister Sarah’s sickness bug hasn’t helped either this week. It is my low week and I am not if I can help it allowed to go by people who are ill. So every time she goes into a room I come out of it. It has been quite funny when it comes to watching the TV in the lounge. We have had to sit opposite ends of the room like two little kids who have been naughty.
Fingers crossed for this Friday. I am off for another session of treatment, so lets hope I can have it seen as I have been unwell again. Last time this happened I couldn’t have my chemo and it had to be delayed.
Week 7:
WELL not many of you could have had your fingers crossed very well last week for me because when I went for my chemo last Friday guess what happened? … I wasn’t able to have it again!
This time it wasn’t for my white blood cells it was my to do with my bone marrow. When you reach the middle of your treatments your body finds it harder to recover after each chemo and so your count becomes low unless it is given longer to recover before been hit with more chemo or boosted with a special injection. Well you can imagine with my luck which route I had to go down. Yes you guessed right, it was needle time for me, my worst nightmare.
I had been told all about this when I first began my chemo back in February but me been me kept thinking it wont happen to me and I will be fine, I wont have to have the big injection, how wrong I was.
When Anita told me the bad news I just burst into tears. I knew I had no other option to have the injection and it would be for the best. It was either that or have to be admitted into hospital because my count was that low, if it had gone any lower then I would have been in trouble. I had my best friend the Emela cream (used many other times I’ve needed a needle) rubbed on the top of my thigh in hope it would numb the area a bit, but did it? No it did not.
I felt the needle go in, but I then screamed and cried so loud as I felt the liquid been squirted into my leg and then I felt the needle coming out my leg. It hurt loads, in fact it hurt more than having my two operations and then having the stitches out after and that is saying something.
The injection is to help boost your bone marrow, it basically forcing your body to produce more as it cant do it naturally, but there can be side effects and I didn’t half feel them over the weekend. I had really bad pains in my back and legs and at one point I felt like a 90 year old. I couldn’t walk properly or sleep very well and at sometimes I could feel my heart beat, it was throbbing that much. It was just horrible and I thought I want to give up now. I can’t be going through this each week if my counts get low again.
Week 8:
HOORAY! I finally have some good news for everyone. After weeks of bad things, something good has happened at last. I have had the results to my PET Scan and they were negative which means I have no active cancer cells in my body, so all the bad side effects I have had have all been worth it. I still have to carry on with my treatment until I have been told I can stop but at least I know it is working when I have my down days.
While we are talking about good news. Last Friday I was able to have my chemo as I couldn’t have it the week before because of my bone marrow. My blood count was up at 22, which is even higher than someone who doesn’t have cancer. It felt a bit funny having it again, I think my body thought it was all over after the little delay.
This week I have been trying to carry on with my university work. I graduate this year so I wanted to carry on when I found out I was ill. I thought it would be fine doing my work at home but it’s been hard. I can’t just pop into university to talk to my tutors or go to the library whenever I feel like it to do some work, I have to plan it in advance or suddenly chance my plans if I am ill or tired.
My dissertation is what’s taking the longest. I have to make a documentary on a topic of my choice and I was doing it on Teenage Pregnancy but then I became ill so changed the subject to all about what I am going through but it is really hard. There is more to making and producing a documentary than people think, it isn’t that easy.
I then have my photo journalism module, where I need to take 200 pictures and pick the best 10 and turn them into a feature for a paper or website and finally my work placement module, where I need to evaluate my work experience at Touch Radio in Tamworth last year.
Some days I am either too tired or I cant concentrate. This is because of the chemo fatigue and it’s really frustrating. I have worked so hard over the last 3 years I don’t want to give up and I am only a few weeks away, but I keep thinking am I going to get it done in time. I best do, Mum has already brought my graduation tickets and outfit.
Week 9:
NOT much has happened for me this week. So because I have not had any good or bad news so I thought I’d tell you about when I was lucky enough to film how my chemo is made.
I thought my chemo just came in a bag already made up for when I got there but I was completely wrong. Each person’s chemotherapy drugs are made when they get there. This is because they go on your blood count, weight, height and type of cancer. So everyone’s drugs are completely different.
You arrive for the day and have your blood taken. The blood is then sent to the lab to be checked to make sure your count is fine and you are able to have the treatment. The drugs are then made in a special room that is off limits. However I was allowed to go in and film the process for my dissertation.
It first begins in room one where the pharmacist sorts out all the things she needs to make the chemo, like different types of needles, containers, the drugs measurements and so on. She has to make sure she has everything she needs as once she has gone through room two and into room three she can not come back out again, unless she wants to do the process all over again.
She then washes her hand with different soaps and starts to clean all the items she has sorted out to take with her. She cleans the boxes that she is going to put the things in, and then wipes each item over. She then does the same process for a second time. They are then passed through a sealed hatch into room three.
The pharmacist then goes into room two and puts on a special coat to cover her clothes, a hat to cover her hair, gloves for her hands and some crocs for her feet. This is because everything that goes into room three has to be sterilised. I actually got to do all this myself, so I certainly looked a picture when I was suited up ready.
Room three is where the drugs are made. All of the items that were cleaned in room one and passed through the hatch are cleaned all over again. Even the telephone and measurements sheet is cleaned and placed inside clear bags. They are then left for two minutes and this is actually timed with a stopwatch.
The drugs come in liquid or powder form and are placed inside a special container that is locked for another two minutes. Once the time is up, the pharmacist can begin to make then up. They are made in a container that has two hand holes so the pharmacist can sit in front of the glass with her hands into the container. After she has made them up she rings the pharmacy to get another pharmacist to make sure she has made the right drugs and measurements. This is called a volume check. They are then placed inside a final container for two minutes. The last thing to do is attach a sticker with the patient’s details onto the drugs.
I now know why it takes so long for them to make the chemo drugs. I never realised how much preparation went into making them and found it really interesting to see the process.
Week 10:
WELL it seems like my treatment is back on track now. My mum and dad alternate taking me and last week it was my dad’s turn. I was able to have my chemo with no hiccups which makes a chance as the last couple of times my dad has taken me things have not gone to plan.
However when my consultant came to see me on the day he gave me some news I did not want to hear. He told me every time I now go for my chemo, the day after I will have to have that nasty bon marrow injection I had a few weeks ago. Well when I heard the news I just buried my head in my hands.
The reason for having the injection is to make sure my blood count is high every week so they don’t have to delay my chemo when it drops or even worse admit me to hospital. I know the injection is for the best but when you know it hurts and causes you bad side effects you don’t think about the positive side.
So last Saturday I went to have the injection. My stomach was doing summersaults because when I had it last time it hurt a lot and I knew it was going to hurt again. Out came my best friend the emla cream which mum put on my thigh an hour before we left home to try and numb my leg.
I got a bit of a shock when it came to having the injection this time. Diana decided not to use the freezing spray as well and the injection hurt and I did scream but for some reason it did not hurt as much as last time. I don’t know whether it was because she didn’t use the spray or because I wasn’t as tense, I guess when I go next week for my third one I can work it out and let you know.
I haven’t had as many bad side effects this time round. I have had some pains in my legs and ached a bit, but nothing like when I felt like a 90-year old lady that was not fun. I have had my mouth infection from my chemo though. Hopefully my weekend away with my family in the Peak District will give me some time to relax and recover.
Week 11:
YES! It is official I have finished university forever. Today I handed in all my work for the very last time. I can’t believe it. It only feels like yesterday I was starting there all scared and nervous and now look, I have my very own column in a newspaper.
I have loved every minute of being at university. There have been highs and lows but I will have some great memories to take away with me. I have met some lovely people and made friends that I will hopefully keep for the rest of my life.
Now all I have to do is sit and wait one more month to see if I have passed my last year and graduate in July. Fingers crossed I can, Mum’s already brought my outfit and ceremony tickets.
I am a bit upset though as I cannot apply for a big job in Broadcast Journalism till at least six months after my treatment has stopped. This is because it takes about that amount of time for your body to recover and get back to normal.
I had a bit of an eventful trip when I went to get my line flushed last week. I nearly had to have a blood transfusion. I had been feeling a bit tired and drained and had very, very bad stomach ache and the nurse’s thought I might be anemic, so they took a blood test to see if I was. If I were anemic it would mean being admitted into hospital to have a blood transfusion, my worst nightmare.
Those few minutes waiting for the results to come back seem liked hours and I had everything crossed. I really didn’t want to have a blood transfusion. Thankfully my results were okay and my red blood count was fine.
Last Thursday I went for a meal with my girls and I had a lovely time. It was really nice to go out and have a good catch up with them. I miss going out loads with my friends. That’s the down side to having side effects from the treatment they really affect your life.
My weekend away in the Peak District was a nice get away, shame about the weather though. I don’t know what it was like here, but where we were it rained and was cold most of the time. It was nice to not think about being ill and have a change of scenery.
This Friday I have another session of chemo and then the dreaded bone marrow injection the day after. I’m not looking forward to that at all.
Week 12:
WELL it still hasn’t sunk in that I’ve officially finished university yet.
There are only a few weeks till I find out what grade I have got and then I can really look forward to my graduation.
I don’t know what I am going to do with myself now I have no university work to do. I can’t get a job in Broadcasting because of all the treatment I am going through and can’t even get a little weekend job because I can never tell what each day will bring while fighting the cancer, I could be really tired one day or sick the next. It sucks a bit as everyone I know from university is applying for big jobs and I am stuck at home.
I had my chemo last Friday and it all went okay, but to top the day off I was told I wouldn’t need to have the nasty bone marrow injection because my blood count was high enough, I was so happy. I know the injection is for the best and helps, but being told I didn’t need to have it put a huge smile on my face.
That night though the chemo kicked in and from about three o’clock in the morning I was wide awake and could not sleep at all. In fact I was that wide awake I could have run a marathon, I am not joking with you.
The reason for being awake so early was from all the glucose I had been given when having my treatment. I had been given over 2 litres of glucose which is the equivalent to a lot of energy drinks.
On Sunday the side effects began and my mouth infection started. Even though I know it going to happen and can start to take tablets to help it, I can never completely get rid of it and it lasts the week. It does upset and annoy me because it really hurts and I can’t eat or drink properly.
I have been to the cinema a few times this week. I went to see “She’s out of my league”, “Death at a Funeral” and “Sex and the City 2”. They were all really good films and I would definitely recommend them.
Week 13:
THERE are only two days until my big challenge. On Saturday evening I am taking part in the Solstic Walk around Lichfield to raise money for St Giles Hospice.
I am doing the walk with my Mum Julie, Sister Sarah, Auntie June and oldest friend Katherine. I have known Kat since we were four years old, so that’s around seventeen years we have stayed very close friends for.
The walk is a whopping nine miles long. It might not sound much but for someone who is ill, that is a very long distance, but I am determined to reach the finish line.
The reason for doing the walk was to raise awareness about Hodgkin Lymphoma and also to help St Giles Hospice who do a great job for people with cancer, particularly with family and friends who have been close to us and suffered from cancer.
To raise awareness about Hodgkin Lymphoma we decided to send off for t-shirts from the Lymphoma Association which we are going to wear on the night of the walk. They are bright purple with the Lymphoma Association logo on the front and on the back we are going to wear wings and carry wands.
We have got Robert Broad Travel to sponsor us, so they have had their name printed on to the t-shirts. The reason for asking Robert Broad Travel was because they are close family friends of ours, Katherine works for them and also St Giles is close to their hearts.
If you have a flick through the paper this week you might find a picture of Kat and I as on Tuesday we had our photo taken for the paper telling everyone we were doing the walk.
Kat and I couldn’t stop laughing through the whole thing. We looked so funny in the giant purple t-shirts, ladybird and bumble bee wings and wands, leggings and trainers. What a sight it was.
I’m keeping my fingers crossed that the weather stays dry for Saturday night as I can’t think of anything worse than walking in the rain.
I don’t know how long it will take us to complete the walk. It starts at 10pm so I am aiming to do it before midnight. Next week I shall let you know how we got on.
Week 14:
YES! I did it, I completed the whole 9 mile Solstice Walk for St Giles Hospice. I can’t believe I made it all the way round.
That’s a big achievement especially since I am unwell. My Mum, Sister and friend Kat completed the 9 miles as well, but my Auntie only managed half of the 9 miles as she had a bad foot.
The whole evening was very well organised and St Giles did a good job making the whole event a huge success. Everyone looked amazing. The costumes people had come up with were really good. Most people were wearing pink, but we were wearing bright purple so I think we stood out a bit.
After registering we had a little dance at the disco and then had a go at the warm up. I couldn’t believe how many women were joining in at the same time, it looked so good.
Hundreds of balloons were released and then the walk began. It was an amazing sight to watch as everyone came out of the Friary and down the road. It was like a giant caterpillar.
As we walked round there were people outside their houses clapping, people standing outside the pubs and bars cheering us on and even people in cars driving past honked their horns. The first lap round wasn’t that bad. We had our bottles of Lucazade and banana for energy and it went quite quick.
It was the second lap round that was harder. By the time we got to the half way point our feet were hurting from blisters we had managed to gain.
I was determined to do the whole thing and I wasn’t going to let my blisters stop me. My Mum and Sister’s knees were starting to hurt but they decided to carry on as well. I have to say though the thought of a yummy bacon sandwich and warm cup of tea at the end urged me on as we walked up the hill on the last part of the course.
When we reached the finish line and collected our certificates and flower I could have jumped for joy at managing the whole walk but my blisters were too painful.
I would like to say a big thank you to my Mum Julie, Sister Sarah, Auntie June and best friend Kat for taking part in the walk with me.
I would also like to say thank you to Robert Broad Travel and everyone else who was kind enough to sponsor us all.
Week 15:
ITS time for a celebration! Yes I did it, I passed my degree and I am officially a Broadcast Journalist and Bachelor of Arts.
On Monday everyone’s results were released and I was able to find out what degree classification I had got.
I achieved a Second Class Honours: First Division which is a 2:1.
For those of you who do not understand the University grading, a 2:1 is the second highest grade you can get.
I couldn’t believe when I found out. I had to double check I’d got the right student number just in case I had got it wrong but I hadn’t.
It still hasn’t sunk in yet. I did not think I would do so well because I was doing all my Uni work from home and it was very hard, so it is a huge shock.
I had a lovely bottle of Pink Champagne with my family to celebrate my success which was nice, but the big celebration will be when I graduate in July. It’s only a few weeks away so I am really looking forward to it.
It only feels like yesterday I was starting University all shy and nervous and now look I have successfully passed my degree while battling cancer. That is one big achievement. My family, friends and boyfriend are very proud of me and were over the moon when I told them.
Now it is time to start looking for a job. I have to wait a few months before I can begin working properly as I haven’t finished my treatment yet, but it doesn’t stop me looking around and showing that I am still interested and dedicated to getting a job in broadcasting.
If anyone is reading this that knows of any jobs in broadcasting then that would be fantastic news and could you please let me know.
On Friday I am off for my next lot of chemo. I should be able to have it as I had that nasty bone marrow injection last week to boost my blood count, so fingers crossed. I am hoping that day the weather is horrible as I hate being stuck inside having my treatment when it is hot and sunny. If only I could have it while sat outside on the grass, now that would be good.
Week 16:
THIS week I have been quite a busy bee. On Wednesday I went for lunch with my girlies Sarah and Amelia. We went to Frankie and Bennies and sat outside in the sunshine, it was lovely. We then went for a bit of a shop around town. It was nice to catch up with them and have a good old gossip.
On Thursday my friend Laura came to see me which was nice. I lived with her in my first year at Uni and then played netball with her in my third year before I had to leave, so it was good to see each other again. We went for a yummy lunch at The Hedgehog. It was lovely especially the giant puddings we had. The chocolate fudge brownie was amazing.
On Saturday I went to see the new Twilight film, Eclipse with my boyfriend Ben. We watched it at Star City where we went Gold Class which was an experience. You get your own big, leather arm chair that reclines, a bar, free popcorn and then there are only a few seats in the actual cinema so it is like been in your own screening.
On Sunday I went to Birmingham with my Mum and Sister to look for a Graduation outfit. I thought I would either not find one I liked or it would take me ages to pick one, but luckily I found a gorgeous dress almost straight away. I then got a clutch bag and some bracelets to match. I won’t tell you what is it like because I don’t want to spoil the surprise, I’ll put a picture in with my column the week after I graduate so you can see it. I’m so excited, I really can’t wait.
I will get to see all my friends from Uni that I haven’t really seen since I left in January, so that will be really nice. The ceremony is at Trentham Gardens in Stoke, so I am hoping the weather stays warm and dry as if it rains I don’t think us girls will be happy. Heels and mud don’t go well together.
I had my chemo last Friday with no hiccups and didn’t even need to have the dreaded bone marrow injection which I was happy about. I do have some exciting news about my treatment but I will wait till next week to tell you.
Week 17:
IT is finally here, my big day. Tomorrow is my graduation and I am so excited but nervous at the same time. I’ve had all my nails done for the day and my Sister Sarah is going to do my hair because she is doing hair dressing at College.
I really hope the weather is nice and dry otherwise there is going to be a disaster with my heels and the mud. I shall let you know how it goes next week.
You are probably all wondering what the news is about my treatment that I said I was going to tell you this week. Well after my chemo next week, I will only have one more left to go before I have hopefully finished my six months of treatment.
I can’t believe it. It only feels like I started the long journey back in February and now it is almost over. My last treatment is the 30th July and then after that I shall be booked in for a CT scan so my haematologist can see if the chemo has been working and killing the cancerous cells off.
I have more exciting news. I received a letter in the week from the Lymphoma Association. As part of World Lymphoma Awareness Day in September, I have been nominated for the Raising Awareness of Lymphoma award and for a Special Commendation. I was in complete shock, but very happy at the same time. I find out in the next few weeks if I have made the final group, but fingers crossed I have.
I went away last weekend with my family to the Peak District. It was nice to get away and have a change of scenery. The weather was ok, but it wasn’t as hot as it was meant to be. We did manage to have a BBQ though which was nice.
I am not having my chemo this week as I am graduating on the day I was meant to have it. Instead I am having it on Monday and the nasty bone marrow injection on the Tuesday. That then will hopefully be the last time I ever have to have that horrible injection. That is something I am definitely not going to miss when I finish all my treatment.
Week 18:
I can’t believe Friday is all over and done with and I am now in the big wide world, no longer a student. A bit scary I must say.
My graduation began at half ten in the morning and we had to be there for about half eight which meant I had to get up at six o’clock. I don’t mind getting up early but that was a bit too early.
When we arrived at Trentham Gardens we were told there was a fifteen minute walk through the grounds to where the marquees were, but with the size of the heels I was wearing and the damp weather, I would never had made it in one piece so we go into one of the mini buses the University had supplied. The weather did manage to stay dry and it didn’t begin to rain until we left in the afternoon.
When we arrived at the marquees I had to hand in a slip to say I was there and collect my cap and gown. It was a very funny sight. Everyone looked like they were out of the Harry Potter films. After getting my outfit, we went and took some pictures outside while it was dry and then I had a professional picture taken by one of the photographers.
I was nominated for a Special Student Award by one of my tutors which was a complete shock, so I had to go to the Press Office as they wanted to take my picture and ask me a few questions so they could put a little story together for the University website.
It was then time to sit down in the marquee where the ceremony was to take place. All the family and friends were sat at the back and all the students were sat at the front. It was really good to see everyone off my course and all my other friends I knew off other courses as I hadn’t seen them since I had to leave in January.
When the ceremony started I began to shake and really need the toilet but it was too late now. All the official members of the University and lecturers did a little procession up the middle and onto the stage. There were some very moving speeches read by the Vice Chancellor of the University Professor Christine E King and then the student’s names were called. They were called alphabetically and by each course and when it got to me I felt sick and my stomach was doing summersaults.
When we got onto the stage we had to shake the hand of Lord Morris of Handsworth OJ Chancellor of the University, have our picture taken and then walk off. Well it was a complete blur and over in seconds. Mum, Dad, Sarah and Ben all stood up and cheered for me and I do believe mum and dad had tears in their eyes. In the evening, to celebrate my success, we went for a nice meal to a lovely pub.
It was one of the biggest days of my life and it was over so quickly. I still can’t believe I managed to finish three years at University and graduate while being seriously ill, that is one big achievement I shall never forget.
Week 19:
I hope you all liked my picture last week of me graduating. I didn’t think they would print it as big as they did though. It still hasn’t sunk in yet that it’s over and done with.
Tomorrow I am off for another session of chemo, but guess what, it is hopefully my last one, hooray! I was told I would need six months worth of treatment and so this Friday’s is officially the last one. I have got everything crossed it is as well.
It has gone so quick. When they told me I would need chemo till July I thought that’s ages away and will feel like a life time until I finish, but it has gone so fast. It doesn’t feel like I have been having treatment for that long.
After tomorrow I will be booked in for a CT scan so my haematologist can see if the chemo has been working. There is a chance the CT scan can pick up my scar tissue and mistake it for cancer cells so if that happens I will be booked in for a PET scan as this scan can get a clearer picture of my body.
If the results are good and it has been working I will go into what is called Remission. I will not get the all clear for five years, but being in remission means that the cancer has gone away for now but there is a chance it could come back. If it does come back, it usually happens in the first two years. I will have to go back every couple of months for checkups and then if they keep giving good results I will go to yearly checkups.
After my scans, near the end of August I will also be booked in for one last operation. This will be so I can have my line taken out of my chest. I can’t wait. Although I have got used to it and sometimes forget it is there, it is still a pain and I have to be careful what I do in case I pull it out by accident.
This does though give me a problem that I am going to have to grin and bear. When I go for my checkups over the next few years I won’t have my line anymore which means I am going to have to have the blood tests from my arm with a needle. Something I am not looking forward to. I may be slightly better with them since all this began in January but I still hate them.
I shall let you know how tomorrow goes. I know that it is going to be a very sad day and I may cry. It will be strange not seeing my nurse’s Anita and Diana every week. I shall definitely miss them.
Week 20:
I can’t believe it, my last treatment is over and done with. It doesn’t really feel any different at the moment, but I think when it comes to two weeks time when I would be going again and I don’t have to go it will hit me.
I will still have to go to Little Aston every other week to have my line flushed until I have the operation to have it taken out. I think it will be the end of August when that happens, as long as it is done before my birthday at the start of September I don’t mind when it is.
Before that though I will be having my CT scan to see if the treatment has been working and that should happen in the next couple of weeks, so I am keeping my fingers crossed all the cancerous cells have gone.
When I saw my haematologist this week he examined me and said he couldn’t feel any new or old lumps so that was a good sign, but I won’t be getting the champagne out to celebrate until I hear the sentence “you are in remission”. Once I go into remission I will have to see him every few months for a check up and blood test to make sure things are still going in the right direction.
I’m glad I didn’t have that many side effects while going through the treatment. I do still get my mouth infection where I can’t eat or drink properly, but hopefully this week will be the last time I suffer from it. I have noticed though that I have been a lot more tired as I have reached the end of my chemo and when it gets to the afternoon I fall asleep for hours.
Now I can’t work out if this is a good or a bad thing but I have turned into a soap addict. When I was at Uni I never had the time to keep up to date with the soaps, but since being ill and more tired, I watch them all the time. It’s not just the one soap either. I watch all of them, Hollyoaks, Emmerdale, Corrie and Eastenders and can never miss an episode.
Week 21:
ITS celebration time, I am officially in Complete Remission! The cancer has gone away and it is all over. The pink champagne can be opened, hooray!
At the beginning of the week I got my CT scan results back and my haematologist gave me the good news. I didn’t know what to say when he told me, I was in shock. It still hasn’t sunk yet, I am guessing it will take a while.
I don’t get the all clear for five years as it could come back and that usually happens in the first two years, but knowing it has gone away for now is brilliant news.
The next step is having my operation to have the line removed. That should happen over the next couple of weeks. Some people just sit there and only have the area frozen to have the line taken out but there is no way I am doing that.
You wouldn’t even get the needle near me to numb my chest and then there is no way I am been awake to see them operating on my chest. I’ll stick to the gas I had when I had my other two operations.
Hopefully as well this will be the last time I do the walk of doom. The walk of doom as I call it is when you have to walk from your room up to the room where they put you to sleep before you go into theatre. It’s awful, my stomach does summersaults and I feel sick. It doesn’t help you have to wear one of those lovely looking robes and white knee high socks, making you look ever so attractive.
Now I have been told I am in remission I don’t have to see my haematologist till November for blood test and check up, but he said he is confident everything will still be good. I will have to have a needle then because I won’t have my line in, so I will be calling on my best friend the emla cream to try and numb the pain.
I am definitely going to miss seeing Anita and Diana and everyone else at Little Aston every week. It won’t be the same waking up on a Friday and not having to spend the day there, but they won’t be able to get rid of me that easily. I shall be popping in for lots of cuppa’s and a good old chat. I just can’t believe how quick the last six months have gone and now it is all over.
Week 22:
WELL I hope you all liked my good news last week. It feels a bit weird telling people I am in remission and when I actually say the word remission I can’t help but smile about it.
Since sharing my exciting news with you, I have had the operation to have my Hickman Line taken out. I thought I would have to wait a while before I had it removed, but because my blood count was ok when they tested it last week, they booked me and I had it last Tuesday.
While I was prepped for surgery by the nurse’s my Surgeon came to see me to tell me what he would be doing and what a shock I got. You will never guess what he said to me. He told me he was going to give me an injection above my line and below my line to numb the area and then cut it out and stitch it up while I was awake, yes awake. Well you can probably imagine what my reaction was straight away. There was no way on this earth I was going to be awake while he operated on my chest.
The operation would only last ten minutes at the most but because I didn’t want to be awake, it would take longer. In fact because I was being put to sleep, I was spending more time going through that part and then been woken up in recovery than the operation itself. It might seem a bit strange to some people and more scarier going to sleep, but I was terrified at the thought of been awake when someone is cutting you open and sewing you back up.
I did the walk of doom up to theatre for hopefully the last time and like clockwork I felt sick and couldn’t stop shaking. I knew all the staff when I got up there so that helped me calm down a bit. It seemed like it took ages for me to fall asleep when I was breathing in the gas and I kept thinking, “I’m not falling asleep, I’m not falling asleep”, but the next thing I knew I was waking up in recovery.
The operation went ok and this time I have being given dissolvable stitches, which is even better seen as we had a nightmare with the normal stitches I had last time.
I would just like to say a big thank you to all the staff in the operating theatres, recovery and the nurse’s on the ward who looked after me when I had my four operations this year. You we so lovely and friendly to me and this made me feel safe and less scared at the whole experience.
Week 23:
I have some very sad news to share with you all. This week is the last time I will be writing my column in the paper. Seen as I have finished all my treatment and gone into remission I won’t be going through anymore tests or new experiences to tell you about. I now have to get back to normal and go out find my dream broadcasting job and conquer the world.
I hope you have all enjoyed reading my column and following my journey over the last 9 months. I have definitely been through a lot and I think my body needs a nice long rest. I certainly do after having four operations, one emergency operation, two Hickman Lines, two CT scans, one PET scan, numerous X-rays and blood tests, line-o-grams, ultra sounds on my neck, lung function tests, echocardiograms, six months worth of chemotherapy and weekly bone marrow injections in my thigh!
It has really helped me to share my experiences with you and hopefully help anyone else who is going through a similar thing. If anyone needs someone to talk to about the same sort of experiences I have gone through then please feel free to contact me through the Lichfield Mercury. I shall be happy to help as much as I can.
I want to take some time to say some big thank you’s to some very special people.
First I would like to thank my Mum, Dad, Sister, Boyfriend and the rest of my family for supporting me through all of this and been there whenever I needed them. For giving me a big hug when I would just sit and cry for no reason or putting up with me when I was having a really moody and snappy day, I don’t know what I would have done without you all.
Thank you to some special friends who have been there for me, especially when it came to needing to go out and take my mind off being ill. You really showed what true friendship means.
I would like to thank Anita and Diana my two oncology nurse’s at Little Aston. They have been fantastic over the six months I was having my treatment. They would never get sick of me asking lots of questions or never got sick of my needle phobia and the drama’s we had with that. They have been so lovely and kind and have made my experience there a whole lot nicer. They don’t get enough credit for the work they do and having seen them more than once a week, every week since January, I will miss them so much.
I want to thank my haematologist Dr Paneesha, Dr Hamilton my emergency consultant, Mr Paterson and Mr Khan my two surgeons, Bethan and Julie and all the theatre staff. You were so kind, caring and helpful and made my time there a lot less scary. I sometimes actually looked forward to going to Little Aston because of how lovely the people were. I will miss you all.
It is a bit sad writing my last column and I don’t really know what else to say, just thank you for reading it and following my journey. This won’t be the last time you hear from me as I will be updating you every so often on the Letters page of the paper about how I am getting on, how I get on at my check up in a few months time and if I manage to get my dream job.
I shall end on a funny note because if I don’t I think I will have a few tears of sadness. If the MP or the Mayor of Lichfield is reading this, now I am a local celebrity I shall be available to turn on the Christmas lights on in Lichfield this year.
